I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
