I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
