Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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