I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
