She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
