he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize