So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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