im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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