so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She bit a glass in half.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
