i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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