He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i would punch a child for taco bell
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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