I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
