She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
