Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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