Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize