i think my tv is drunk
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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