Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
