Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
