i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
