I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
