you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
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I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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