living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I can't turn off my feet"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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