Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
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I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The Olympian is in my bed
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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