Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.