Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
