4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
