just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
