I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
