did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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