K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
