What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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