so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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