There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
