North Korea, Best Korea!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize