My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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