Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Randomize