I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Too much gin, very little bucket
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
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she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
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The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time