I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?