That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?