Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats