Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
