So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
