I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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