: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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