I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
