I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize