for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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