She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
