Someone shit on the floor
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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