Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize