hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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