I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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