two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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