I just made out with a guy for $7.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
