His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
