I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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