Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
