Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize